I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
