He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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