Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
