That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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