The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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