So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
