so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
