So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
