I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
