so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
