what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
