Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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