There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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