No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
