The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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