how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
