just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
