Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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