It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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