yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
