my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
