maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
