you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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