Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
