yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
