is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
