I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
My ATM looks so different sober.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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