$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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