yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
