Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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