I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
