Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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