I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Even my vagina gasped.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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