Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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