FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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