i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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