meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
