Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
