To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize
