I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
