Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
