why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
