i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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