don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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