I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
