My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
