The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Me too!
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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