So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
