she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
