he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
too bad you live with your parents still
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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