are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
