Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
