The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Come see our sink grown plant.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
The air taste purple.
Randomize
