What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
